President Obama ‘s Open Support of Gay Marriage Helps America Take a Giant Step toward True Equality

America Coming of Age

President Obama ‘s Open Support of Gay Marriage Helps America Take a Giant Step toward True Equality

Michael S. Nixon

 “I support gay marriage.” President Obama’s historic utterance of those four words is a landmark moment in American history. Although purely symbolic since it has no direct legislative impact, such clear, unambiguous speech by a sitting president will give momentum to those that champion the cause of equal rights. More importantly it validates the millions and ever growing population of gay Americans that have been relegated to second class citizens when it comes to marriage.

It is refreshing to read opinion polls that indicate that the American people are beginning to support gay rights in ever increasing numbers. It is encouraging to witness the coming of age of our teens that look at their peers being gay the same way as they look at being left-handed. They don’t care.

Gay marriage is truly a matter of equal rights and equal protection under the law. A majority should never have the right to vote on the rights of any other American.  According to the Declaration of Independence, our rights are inalienable and the birthright of every American.  If the majority had the chance to vote on the rights of others many of the great social issues that have raged throughout history, America would be a vastly different place.  In 1920’s America would women have acquired the right to vote with an electorate made up entirely of men? Would the Civil Rights Act of 1964 been passed when those directly impacted had very little input on the decision? Would slavery have been abolished in 1865 when most African Americans were powerless? Clearly the answer in each of these cases is a resounding no. For those that may quarrel with equating women, ethnic minorities, the physically challenged and the mentally ill with gay Americans, I pose this question--Are we not all Americans? An affirmative answer to that question makes it crystal clear that gay Americans deserve the same rights as all Americans. That includes the right to marry whomever they wish. 

For those that argue gay marriage tears at the moral fiber of America, I respond, what tears at the moral fiber of America is not gay marriage, but rather any person, group, religious organization or political party that attempts to deny the rights of Americans.  Further it tears at the tenuous bonds of our democracy.

My fervent hope is to eventually live in an America where I will one day explain to my unborn children, as they stare in disbelief that once upon a time in America every citizen did not have healthcare; That there was once a time when soldiers and sailors that volunteered to defend our country during wartime could not disclose their sexual orientation lest they be discharged in disgrace; That women were paid less than men for doing the same work; That state governments passed laws that dictated to women what they could or could not do with their own bodies and that once upon a time in America  there were people that went hungry everyday despite the fact that they were citizens living in the wealthiest country in the  history of the world.

For me this is personal, although not for the reasons you may think. Although I should not have to disclose my background to make this point, I will. I am a heterosexual. African-American, Ivy League educated male. I was raised as a Catholic and served as an altar boy.  In fact at one point my parents were convinced that I would become a priest.  Based on demographic and statistics I should be opposed to gay marriage. Thankfully I am the product of my parents both of whom were born in the segregated South of the early 1930’s. Certainly one can imagine the struggles and hardships they must have endured. Yet following Mass at breakfast in the kitchen our small West Philadelphia row home on a sunny April day in 1966, the topic of dating was broached by my then 9 year old brother, I was 7 at the time. At some point during the family discussion that included my 8 year old sister and 5 year old brother, my father intoned, “It doesn’t matter if the person you date is black or white.” Then my mother immediately stated, “And It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman.” While I didn’t fully appreciate the context of those statements at the time, as I look back on my life it is clear that they have had a profound impact on how I live my life.  As a result of that conversation, I feel that is my duty to speak out against injustice, to fight against discrimination and where I see unfairness to level the playing field. That is my solemn duty as an American. I believe that is what makes us a more perfect union. More importantly it is my duty to my parents. For it is clear to me now on that day in 1966 in that little kitchen, at the height of the Civil Rights Movement, that despite all they had experienced they had a vision for what America would be for their children, an America where their children would be free to pursue their dreams unencumbered by discrimination or prejudice, an America where everyone is truly free, an America where everyone can indeed pursue their own version of happiness. Something they may have been prohibited from doing.  I owe the fight to them. So every step America takes in that direction honors them. I will stand side by side with whomever fights to advance the cause of equal rights in America.

So I say thank you Mr. President for understanding what America can be. Words have power and your words have made America greater. Thank you for moving America closer to that great day when we are all equal. Thank you for having the courage as a president, father, husband and man to do what is right. While your critics will attribute your words as a political ploy because you made them during an election year, history will honor you.  Now I won’t have to have the same conversation my parents had with me and my siblings on that sunny day in 1966. You have honored America and my parents.

May 10, 2012

Copyright 2012 Michael S. Nixon